Does your typical workday include racing home to pick up the kids from school as well as spending time caring for, or worrying about your aged or ill parents? Welcome to the ‘Sandwich Generation’ where you feel squeezed at both ends with very little time for ‘self’ in the middle.
A growing proportion of families, women in particular, are suffering from the combined effects of an ageing population where parents live longer and teenagers are staying at home longer. No wonder we feel ‘squeezed’.
A growing proportion of families, women in particular, are suffering from the combined effects of an ageing population where parents live longer and teenagers are staying at home longer. No wonder we feel ‘squeezed’.
The challenges facing the Sandwich Generation
Juggling the often-competing interests of your parents and your children is fraught with challenge. Both groups require very different types of care and attention, with neither necessarily accepting of the needs of the other. And you are in the middle, feeling stretched and alone.
Despite these challenges, many of us simply can’t ignore the plight of our loved ones, especially our parents, as they begin to age and decline. Our love and care response kicks in to provide support.
What you can do
To better cope with this growing challenge:
Juggling the often-competing interests of your parents and your children is fraught with challenge. Both groups require very different types of care and attention, with neither necessarily accepting of the needs of the other. And you are in the middle, feeling stretched and alone.
Despite these challenges, many of us simply can’t ignore the plight of our loved ones, especially our parents, as they begin to age and decline. Our love and care response kicks in to provide support.
What you can do
To better cope with this growing challenge:
1. Never forget your own priorities in life – try to balance your needs with those for whom you are caring. Maintaining a sense of self will help to define what gives your life true meaning and purpose.
2. Take care of your relationship with your partner – the emerging needs of your parents may raise new anxieties in your partner, who is less equipped to deal with the emotional and family bonds that are core to your life. Your partner has an important role in offering his or her support, comfort and shared views on the important issues you face together.
3. Manage your parents’ needs – listening to their needs and gauging their responses will help you address their expectations and assumptions about a mutually agreeable level of care.
4. Manage your children’s needs – be clear about the expectations you have of them and ask for their support and understanding with the importance of caring for family. Listening to their concerns will help you to reinforce your key message that ‘we all need to contribute to be an effective, loving family’.
5. Seek the advice of experts – making the right choices will be your key to success and allows you to share your concerns with knowledgeable professionals. Additionally, experts help to give you confidence that you are making the right choices.
6. Financial issues can magnify stress unnecessarily – good financial management can have many benefits and may be an essential strategy for coping with major, and sometimes costly, transitions like moving your parents to an aged care facility or supporting your kids into their own homes.
Remember, to speak to your financial adviser if you are feeling the squeeze. Your adviser can go through your options to determine the best solutions for you, your parents and your kids. We also have aged care specialist services available to ensure you make the right choices for aged care.
